When the Silence is Too Loud

In a world of constant noise, why are we so afraid of silence? Why don’t we welcome it? Lately, I’ve been finding myself immediately filling the morning silence with some type of technology. 

I always wake up with a problem to solve. My mind doesn’t take much time off from reminding me of my current circumstances and the million things I need to think about each day. “This bill is due, fill out the school form, write down this work task so you don’t forget, remember that thing from yesterday? You forgot to do that, put it on the list today. You’re out of groceries, what will you cook for dinner? Put that on the list. Oh, and remember today is your friend’s birthday, don’t forget to text her, but later because it’s too early. Oh, and grief…don’t forget you are grieving too” 

Then, at some point, it all feels overwhelming and the thoughts become condemnation. This is where Satan creeps in. “You’re dropping balls, your kids see you failing. You’re not successful. You’re an imposter. You didn’t even sleep well. You should probably just go back to bed….” The list goes on and within 30 minutes of waking up, I already feel defeated. 

Why do we do this? We silence the noise…with consumption. We all want to help ourselves. “If I just learn to be more disciplined, I wouldn’t be failing at so many things.” We listen to the podcasts, we read the books, we find the YouTube videos. We watch the reels… in hopes that we will come out of the pit. 

I know I’m not alone in this. This is the world we live in. Instant gratification and dopamine hits from social media fill our days. It’s a constant battle we will continue to fight, and it’s easy to walk ourselves right into a pit of depression. 

God doesn’t want our performance. He wants us. He wants me and he wants you. He wants you to wake up and immediately look for him. He’s already there. He wants you to walk outside and marvel at the beauty, to recognize the sun coming up or the trees blooming. He wants you to listen to the birds singing. He wants you to sing and praise him.

In Psalm 30:8-12 David writes,

To you, Lord, I called;

to the Lord I cried for mercy:

9“What is gained if I am silenced,

if I go down to the pit?

Will the dust praise you?

Will it proclaim your faithfulness?

10Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;

Lord, be my help.”

11You turned my wailing into dancing;

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

12that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.

Lord my God, I will praise you forever.

What if we change our mindset? What if we give him the first fruit of our day? We give him praise and trust that he is not only the author of our life, but the author of each day? 

Let’s try not to drown out the silence, but welcome it. Let’s claim the authority He has given us in the Holy Spirit. Let’s thank him for every blessing and tell him about every worry and ask him to walk beside us. We want the spirit of truth to be louder than the noise of this world. We want his presence to be reflected in the way we live our lives.

Prayer:

Lord, help me to look to you first today. Thank you for being a merciful God who understands my circumstances. Thank you for showing me grace. Sit with me in the silence, ease my discomfort and speak to me. Let each breath I inhale be filled with your peace that surpasses all understanding.  Let each exhale release the worries of my day. Walk with me today and let me be aware of your presence.