My husband and I have been married for four years, and that alone is one of God’s greatest blessings in my life. He is the rock of our family.

Although we both grew up around church, our walks with God looked very different. For a long time, I prayed that God would change my husband. I wanted him to lead us in prayer, spend more time in God’s Word, lift his hands in worship, and become the spiritual leader I longed for him to be.

Those desires weren’t wrong. A husband who loves and follows Christ is a beautiful gift.

But somewhere along the way, my hopes turned into expectations, and my expectations became pressure. Instead of allowing God to work in Jason’s heart, I was trying to do the Holy Spirit’s job. The more I pushed, the more distance it seemed to create—not only between Jason and me, but between Jason and the deeper relationship with God that I longed for him to have.

The Lord gently reminded me of something I desperately needed to hear: He loves my husband even more than I do.

God doesn’t need my striving to accomplish His work. He simply asks me to pray, trust Him, and love faithfully.

I once heard someone say, “God didn’t give me these desires to give to my husband.”

That statement changed everything.

The Lord began to convict my heart. Instead of praying for my husband to change, I began praying that God would change me.

“Lord, give me opportunities to love my husband the way You love me. Help me extend the same grace, mercy, compassion, and patience that You show me every single day.”

My prayer became, “God, meet my husband exactly where he is. Reveal Yourself to him in Your timing, not mine.”

I’ve learned that spiritual growth cannot be forced. It is the work of the Holy Spirit. Every believer has their own journey with the Lord, and just as God has been incredibly patient with me through every season of my life, He is patient with my husband too.

A few years later, my husband had the opportunity to serve as a chaperone at a youth camp. I wasn’t able to go, but he did.

Looking back now, I can see God’s hand over every detail of that week. God knew exactly where Jason needed to be, who needed to surround him, and what his heart needed to hear.

There, in God’s perfect timing, the Holy Spirit met him.

As he stepped outside of his comfort zone and surrendered more of himself to the Lord, something began to change. He didn’t become a different person overnight, but he fell more deeply in love with Jesus. Watching God transform his heart has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever experienced.

Today, I still pray that my husband continues to grow as the spiritual leader of our home. But my prayers are no longer rooted in frustration, fear, or comparison.

They are rooted in trust.

Because I know the same God who pursued me is faithfully pursuing my husband.

If you’re praying for a spouse, a child, a friend, or someone you love, don’t lose heart. God is still at work, even when you can’t see it. The Holy Spirit is far more faithful than we could ever be.

Our job is not to change people’s hearts.

Our job is to love them well, pray faithfully, and trust the One who can.

As Scripture reminds us:

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 1:6

God’s timing is never late.

It’s always perfect.